Running with Wind at their Backs, and Lyla in their Hearts

Running long distance is lonely sport. Competing in the annual Ragnar Relay—a 12-person team event covering 200 miles in 36 hours, both day and night—runners transform a solitary sport into an incredibly herculean, communal, team effort. They do so with humor (dressing in costumes), camaraderie (sleeping in vans between legs of the race) and commitment (each runner completes up to 20 miles). This past weekend our town sent six teams* to compete in the 2013 competition.

But what made this year’s Ragnar even more monumental was the way the runners from all of Wilton’s teams united behind one little Wilton girl in the fight for her life. That collective effort will make a difference in her health, her spirit and the spirit of her dedicated mom and family.

Ragnar Relay a Wilton Tradition, for some, including Kacky Theoharides

Kacky Theoharides is, without doubt, a committed runner. Having completed multiple marathons, 5Ks and other races, she’s a member of the Sol Sisters team, which entered its third Ragnar Relay this year. But when her 5-year-old daughter, Lyla, was diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma just two months ago, being part of that team of fellow runners took on new meaning.

“The day after our team got the news about Lyla, we got together and got organized, started planning to help. We got a notebook for Kacky to keep anything she got from the doctors. We collected big baskets of things they’d need for the hospital. But it was a blur, and sort of surreal,” recounted Kim Burke, Kacky’s good friend and teammate.

(Kim spoke with me with Kacky’s permission for this column. We talked by phone as Kim drove back to Wilton from the Cape in a van with other Sol Sister teammates; they all contributed their thoughts and she answered my questions on behalf of the team with their input.)

Kim and Kacky have children the same age—in fact Kim’s daughter, Quincey, is Lyla’s best friend. Many of the other Sol Sisters have children the same ages as well, and they all became friendly through running, Zion’s Hill preschool, or both.

The news of Lyla’s cancer became axis-shifting for the team. “We were all so devastated, and could barely talk about it. It was so hard to stay positive. A bunch of us had a prayer session at St. Matthew’s and met with a youth minister, who said, ‘This little girl is going to be running a marathon.’ She had no idea what she had just said! It was such an appropriate analogy—it‘s going to be such a long hard road for Lyla. But Kacky has run marathons! We’re all runners together! The minister didn’t know all that, but we knew it was a sign. We knew what it meant to get through something and push really hard, and know that at the end of this long road, we’ll come out on the winning side.”

Lyla inspired ALL the Wilton Ragnar Relay teams

Pretty soon, news spread, and all the other Ragnar teams took on Lyla as their guiding spirit pushing them to compete. One team created temporary tattoos with the Ragnar logo and Lyla’s name for all the Wilton runners to sport; another made bracelets that the Wilton teams all wore. Best of all, all the cars were decorated in a show of solidarity. [The other Wilton teams were: Skirtz, Whine Not Warriors, Running from Responsibility, No Sleep 'Til P-town, Warrior Chicks and Wives on the Run.]

“All the other teams, they were just as much running for Lyla as we were. There were 12 vans trucking around Cape Cod with Lyla written all over them. It was so great,” Kim recounted, laughing. “Strangers were coming up to us, asking, ‘What is this, Lyla? We’re seeing Lylas all over the place, what does this mean?’ When they heard, everyone wanted to help. I wish we had flyers with us. It was very emotional, very motivating.”

Of course, it was the Sol Sisters who carried Lyla with them the most. In her honor, they renamed their team, “LYLAS Sol Sisters,” which has a double meaning:  LYLAS is an acronym that stands for love you like a sister. The Sol Sisters imprinted their shirts with that as their motto. In addition to Kim and Kacky, members of the LYLAS Sol Sisters team include Katie Denious, Jen Reese, Shelly Osterberg, Pamela Lancaster, Margaret O’Donnell, Leslie Gambee, Kathryn Outcalt, Mo Minicus, Lynne DiNanno, Jackie Christman and Emma Sullivan.

During each leg of their run, the team members carried with them Lyla’s totem, a little stuffed rabbit she had gotten in her classroom’s treasure chest, which she named Bunny Rose. The runners each wrote in a journal what their individual stretches were like. “It was windy, it was cold, it was dark.” “This is what Bunny Rose saw at mile 102.” “I met someone with Bunny Rose and we talked about you the whole way.” The Sol Sisters also all emailed pictures and texts to Lyla, Kacky and the family back home during the relay.

The depth of commitment—to run, and then more

The Ragnar Relay isn’t necessarily a women-only race. Men and women can both compete. It just so happened that all of Wilton’s teams were made up entirely of women, mostly moms. I know first-hand that Saturday morning’s first-grade girls’ soccer games had many, many more soccer dads and granddads on the sidelines than usual. I had several friends who competed on the teams. It’s a big commitment that all the families make when the moms go to run Ragnar.

It’s an amazing, empowering feat for these women, in the display of friendship, sisterhood, dedication and strength that they show. Some of the competitors have been long-time runners, like Kacky and her Sol Sister teammates. Others trained for this as their first, and likely last long distance race, as they laughingly recounted in conversations and Facebook posts.

As a non-runner, I was awed and inspired by the strength shown by all of these women who competed over the weekend. But that was before I knew about what gave them that extra burst of fuel to carry them over the challenging 200-mile course. They were all thinking about Lyla.

Kim recounted:  “One runner, Laura Ryan, came up to us and said, ‘Your team is such an inspiration. You’re all why we’re running this. You came back to Wilton after last year’s race and you had such an amazing time, I wanted to do this. And now it means so much more.’ One of the other Wilton girls I saw, at the end of a really hard leg, she was coming in with tears coming down her face, saying, ‘I just did that! I just did that whole leg!’ And I thought about Lyla the whole way!’”

We’re a community—of runners, of Wilton

When I first heard this story, I knew what the reaction of the Wilton community would be when they heard. People will want to help, and different events are being planned—Arena Hairstyling has planned an event on Sunday, May 19, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., where 100-percent of the proceeds will be donated. There are others in the works too.

We all have our stories of how the Wilton community has stepped up for us. Like the runners’ community that showed its love and support through Ragnar, Wilton people are helpers, doers and friends. It’s no wonder that Kacky herself is just like that—she’s the kind of person who agreed to let me write about Lyla’s story only if I would mention the upcoming Wilton Education Foundation’s Memorial Day Get Smart for Wilton 5K, which she helps organize every year with her Sol Sister teammates. (So now there’s another reason to register for that race then, in the LYLAS spirit!)

Thinking about others—it’s what Kacky is doing despite what Lyla faces; with hope the community will think about her and Lyla in their time of need.

“I’m sure there are lots of other towns that are great communities, but we all stumbled on a great one moving here,” said Kim.

The family at the heart of it

As her teammates confirm, running is like lifeblood to Kacky, not only as something that unites her with friends and community, but also as something that sustains her, giving her strength and identity. It’s something that even Lyla recognizes.

“About a month after she got sick, Lyla looked at Kacky, she said, ‘Mommy, how come you’re not running anymore?’ Kacky said, ‘Well, we’re busy, things change.’ Lyla said to her, “Mommy, I want you to run.’ She knows how important it is, it’s the one thing her mom loves and she saw her mom giving it up. We’ve all made an effort to run with her whenever she can run:  if it’s not during the day, we’ll run at night, we’ll run at 6 a.m. Of course Kacky would have wanted to be at the Ragnar with us, but knowing we were all doing this made her feel so much better, that we didn’t give it up,” Kim said.

Lyla will face a lot in her coming health battles—chemotherapy, surgeries, immunotherapy, radiation and more. Kacky and her husband Phil are doing their best to keep the equilibrium as best as possible for the family, Lyla and her brothers August, Christian and Owen. Friends have created web pages to help organize both fundraising help as well as emotional and time support, with things like dinners, carpools and play dates. It’s new ground for everyone, said Kim.

“Kacky doesn’t want people to feel sad. Right from the beginning she told us, ‘Go out, live your lives, I want to hear about what your kids are doing, and the great things that are happening in your lives. I want that positive energy.’ She says, ‘Yes, we have a long road ahead of us, and life is forever changed. But we’re going to beat this, we’re going to be strong, we’re going to get through it.’ And we are.”

The elements weren’t really in the runners’ favor this past weekend at Ragnar. Thankfully it didn’t rain, but it was cold, and the runners found it unusually windy—so much so that the Sol Sisters thought I should title this column “Running Against the Wind, With Lyla in Our Hearts.”

In the marathon ahead that Lyla faces, she will undoubtedly hit strong headwinds. It’s with the support that Kacky will find from her Sol Sisters, the support Lyla will get from the next generation of “Sol Siblings,” the support the Theoharides family will receive from the ever-widening, rippling circles of friends and fellow Wilton residents that will carry her ever-onward with winged feet and a soaring heart.

I have a hunch Wilton is in this with them for the long-distance.

And it certainly won’t be a lonely, solitary run.

Ways you can help: visit Lyla’s web page for upcoming fundraising events and donation opportunities.

*a seventh team trained but didn’t compete.