“I’m voting for Romney! I’m voting for Obama! I’m voting for Obama! I’m voting for Romney!”
No, I haven’t gone schizophrenic – I’m being influenced by the glut of political signs that are starting to pop up around town. Wait, was that a Linda McMahon sign? Every time I see a sign or bumper sticker for a candidate, that’s the one I’m going to vote for.
Are people really shallow enough to think any of these signs make one whiff of difference? Do I think that sticking a political sign at the end of my driveway influences anybody? Highly doubtful, since I live on a cul-de-sac on a dead end road that’s off of another dead end road, and the only people who would see it are the Poland Spring and FedEx drivers and I’m sure they’ve both made up their own minds without my help, thank you very much. (But I do know for a fact that my mail carrier listens to WFAN, the all-sports talk radio, 660 on the AM dial, so just maybe I have a little leverage there.)
But do some people flaunt it just so that others know what their beliefs are? No, don’t say it! Really? Wow! Who woulda thought?
Seriously, that’s a strange concept to me. Because which candidate I vote for, like my medical history, sex life, how much money I have in the bank and whether I wear boxers or briefs is nobody’s business but my own, and I don’t go broadcasting this information willy-nilly to anybody. (Of course Mrs. Christopher Capelle has to know some of this stuff by default, due to us sharing a bedroom, among other assets.)
But I must say these political signs have provided me with a couple of amusing anecdotes along the way. The first one came to mind when I recently read a story about the increasing theft of political signs around town, something that reminded me of an incident I was involved in years ago. (Note to Wilton Police: This occurred in a neighboring town outside your jurisdiction and back when one of the candidates was named Bush – and not “W.”)
Seems one of my sisters was a little too enthusiastic about one particular candidate running for president many years ago, somebody that opposed my father’s point of view. I found out that she was planning on stopping by my parent’s house one night after work, so I “obtained” a few signs of the candidate that opposed hers and strategically placed them in front of my parent’s house (without telling them) and left. I didn’t stick around to see what transpired, but let’s just say “mission accomplished.” (Note to New Canaan Police: The statute of limitations has expired in this instance, right?)
Another story (that didn’t involve the illegal removal of signs) occurred one evening when I was out running. It would’ve been a classic YouTube clip – had smartphones been ubiquitous back in 2000. It was a Gore street team member letting her Chevy Suburban idle while she ran around planting a few score of Gore/Lieberman signs in any available open space. Too bad somebody didn’t capture that on camera and post it on the Internet (which the aforementioned Mr. Gore apparently invented), but YouTube was still five years down the road. Looking back, it’s a great ironic moment that nobody was around to enjoy but me.
But back to the signs. Our founding fathers created the nation so we have a few indisputable rights - the right to peacefully protest, enjoy private voting booths and the freedom to have Starbucks on every corner. To be honest, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t know too much about our fellow townspeople, and they wouldn’t know too much about us. But in these politically-charged times, maybe that’s just asking a little too much.
BTW, it’s boxers.