Beware of strange looking birds when driving around town today, especially along Route 7.
Due to the heavy snow this winter, the Loof Lirpa bird has changed its natural course of migration and was spotted on its way towards Wilton. According to The National Organization For Ongoing Overprotection of Loof Lirpas (N.O.F.O.O.L.), the organization's radar puts the birds in downtown Wilton sometime after noon today.
If you spot a Loof Lirpa do not be alarmed. Remain calm. It is a very nervous bird that is particularly attracted to shiny black vehicles. If you own a shiny black or dark-colored vehicle you must follow these directions carefully so you will not get bitten or attacked when exiting or entering your car. These birds have large sharp beaks and are known to attack if not properly handled.
First, tie a brightly colored ribbon to your radio antenna on the outside of your car. This creates a "friendly environment" that the birds are accustomed to in their natural habitat. Next, before entering your vehicle, shout loudly "Loof Lirpa! Loof Lirpa! Loof Lirpa!" three times.
Finally, look in the car's side mirror and glance over your shoulder. The Loof Lirpa should appear over your left shoulder. If you do not see him that doesn't mean he is not there. Try repeating this process three more times and if you still don't see him you should be safe.
If you do spot a Loof Lirpa please call the organization at 1-800-NO-FOOLS.