Community Corner
FLOWERS ANYONE?
FLOWERS ANYONE???
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>(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?
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>>(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
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>>(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
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>>(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
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>>(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
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>(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it for years, my wife likes them.
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>>(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
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>>(Customer) Well, how much are they?
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>>(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
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>>(Customer) What's the difference?
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>>(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
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>>(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
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>>(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?
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>>(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?
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>>(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
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>>(Customer) FlowerAid?
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>>(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
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>>(Customer) Who said they were a Right?
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>>(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
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>>(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
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>>(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
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>>(Customer) I don't believe this...
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>>(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?
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>>(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
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>>(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
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>>(Customer) Why?
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>>(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.
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>>(Customer) WHAT? Your can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
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>>(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
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>>(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..
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>>(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
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>>(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!
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>>(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
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>>(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
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>>(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.
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>>(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
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>>(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir
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>>(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
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>>(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America .
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<FLOWERS ANYONE